Teen Dating Violence

Statistics

• About one in three high school students have been or will be involved in an abusive relationship.

• Forty percent of teenage girls ages 14 to 17 say they know someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend.

• In one study, from 30 to 50 percent of female high school students reported having already experienced teen dating violence.

• Teen dating violence most often takes place in the home of one of the partners.

• In 1995, 7 percent of all murder victims were young women who were killed by their boyfriends.

• One in five or 20 percent of dating couples report some type of violence in their relationship.

• One of five college females will experience some form of dating violence.

• A survey of 500 young women, ages 15 to 24, found that 60 percent were currently involved in an ongoing abusive relationship and all participants had experienced violence in a dating relationship.

• One study found that 38 percent of date rape victims were young women from 14 to 17 years of age.

• A survey of adolescent and college students revealed that date rape accounted for 67 percent of sexual assaults.

• More than half young women raped (68 percent) knew their rapist either as a boyfriend, friend or casual acquaintance.

• Six out of 10 rapes of young women occur in their own home or a friend or relative's home, not in a dark alley.

• More than 4 in every 10 incidents of domestic violence involves non-married persons 
(Bureau of Justice Special Report: Intimate Partner Violence, May 2000) 

Dating Violence – Early Warning Signs
It may be difficult for teens to recognize abuse or the early signs of possible violence in a relationship. Even if they do recognize it, they may not know what to do about it. Confusion about or fear of what may happen if parents or teachers find out, may prevent a teen from asking for help. Here are some signs of coming or actual abuse:

Jealousy and possessiveness Jealousy is a common experience for teens in relationships. It becomes a warning sign when someone treats you as if you are property and does not want you to share your time or give your attention to anyone else. Frequent accusations of infidelity are a strong warning sign. Jealousy is often rationalized by saying it is a sign of love, but it is actually a sign of insecurity and distrust and shows a need to feel in control.

Controlling attitude One partner rules the relationship, makes all the decisions and disregards the other’s point of view. This includes telling the other how to dress, whom the partner can talk to, when and with whom the partner can socialize, etc.

Alcohol and drug abuse Alcohol and drug use reduce the abuser’s self-control and are often used as an excuse for abusive behavior, but they are not the cause of violence. Use of alcohol and/or drugs by the abuser can endanger the victim by making it hard for that person to notice other warning signs of abusive behavior when they occur.

Explosive temper This includes sudden, unpredictable mood swings, being easily upset by small annoyances, and using violence to solve problems (fighting; hitting walls, cars, lockers, siblings; threatening others with violence, etc.).

Blaming and justifying The abuser denies responsibility for faults by shifting the responsibility to someone or something else or explaining the behavior as necessary and unavoidable. The abuser makes excuses when confronted and blames someone else for the behavior (“If you hadn’t made me mad I wouldn’t have…..”)

Lying This includes saying untrue things, leaving out parts of the truth or pretending to agree when the person doesn’t. Lying is used to maintain control over information and to confuse and make a fool of the other person. This can make the victim feel uncertain, confused and even crazy.

Gender-stereotypical beliefs Potential abusers think that women should be passive, weak, dependent on men; should groom themselves according to men’s preferences, etc. They think that men should be strong, unemotional, in control, decision-makers in relationships, etc.

Growing up in a violent family People who have grown up in homes where they, their mother or siblings were abused have learned that violence is normal behavior.

Any use of force Other early forms of abuse are:
• Forcing someone to stay in a car, room or house, even by blocking the exit
• Restraining someone by using an arm or holding someone down
• Driving too fast with someone in a car
• Not allowing a person to leave the room
• Saying, “I’m doing this for your own good.”

Often these acts are justified by saying it is a sign of love and commitment. 

Ignoring Ignoring or withholding affection is a way of punishing another person. Someone who ignores your ideas, your words, your wishes, your needs, etc., is likely to ignore your feelings, fears and safety in an argument or conflict situation.

Isolation Exclusivity is an indicator of coming abuse. This includes:
• Wanting to be alone with you all the time
• Discouraging your relationships with friends and family by saying negative things about them or trying to convince you they don’t like you.
• Telling you that she or he is the only one who really cares about you. 
• Asking you to give up extracurricular activities so you can be together.

Visit our TERA website for more information.