Understanding Same Gender Partner
Abuse
While domestic violence or partner abuse in same gender
couples involves power and control dynamics similar to those of heterosexual
relationships, there are two basic issues that make dealing with same-gender
couples more challenging for law enforcement and service providers.
Determining the Nature of the Relationship
It may be difficult to assess if two people of the same gender are partners
if neither person readily reveals the nature of their relationship.
Determining the Primary Aggressor
Because of the prevalence of male perpetrators of domestic violence
the initial assumption in a heterosexual couple is that the man is the
primary aggressor. If partner abuse is occurring in a same gender couple,
however, it can be more difficult to determine the primary aggressor.
Unique Characteristics
There are a number of characteristics which have extenuating circumstances
or may be entirely unique to same gender partner abuse:
Isolation – Victims
often endure isolation forced upon them by their perpetrator as a means
of control. LBT victims may experience this to a greater degree due
to already limited social and emotional support. If the victim is not
“out” to friends, family and co-workers, they are not afforded
some of the strongest support systems.
Heterosexism and Homophobia –
Heterosexism is the belief that heterosexuality is superior to
homosexuality and homophobia is an unfounded fear of people who are
LBT. The use of heterosexist language can make a victim feel unsafe
or unable to open up. If it is assumed that a victim is heterosexual,
the victim may not correct the error and as a result will not received
adequate services.
Co-Parenting – A
co-parent in a LBT relationship is a non-birth parent of a child. If
the perpetrator is the birth parent of a child which both partners are
raising, the victim faces the reality of giving up that parenting role.
Stereotypes – LBT
victims cannot be serviced adequately or appropriately if service providers
function on stereotyped ideas and images. Domestic violence is not about
physical size or strength, masculinity or femininity; it is about power
and control. It is neither safe nor appropriate to make assumptions
about clients based on physical characteristics.
Size of LBT Community –
Outside of a few large cities, most LBT communities are very small which
can make it very difficult for a victim to avoid a perpetrator. The
social spaces for LBT people (community centers, clubs/bars, churches,
groups, etc.) are very limited and a victim will often withdraw out
of rear of contact with the perpetrator.
Outing – The phenomenon
known as “outing” is the practice of revealing the sexual
orientation of a person without his/her consent. This fear can be the
most immobilizing threat used to keep a victim in an abusive relationship.
The process of “coming out” is an intensely personal one and
each individual must begin this when it is right for him/her. One solution
to this threat is to come out on one’s own volition thereby disempowering
the threat and control of a perpetrator.
Source: Anti-Violence Project
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