Helping
a Friend or Loved One
What
are signs that my friend may be abused?
• There is evidence of injuries.
• She has unusual or questionable explanations for her black eyes,
bruises or broken bones.
• She frequently misses work.
• Her partner shows an unusual amount of control over her life.
• You notice changes in her or her children's behavior.
• Her partner embarrasses or ridicules her in public.
• Her partner blames her for the way he acts or the things he says.
How can I help an abused friend?
If you know someone who is being abused, you can help her survive by
showing you care. Let her speak confidentially about her situation and
without judgment. You may be the only person with whom she feels comfortable.
Show
you care by:
• Listening to her
• Believing her
• Telling her it's not her fault You can never make someone else
hurt you.
• Assuring her that she is not responsible for the abuse.
• Not minimizing her struggle
• Not judging her
• Not blaming her.
• Telling her she deserves to be safe. Physical violence in a relationship
is never acceptable. Remind her that no one deserves to be abused.
• Taking her to the Safe Shelter of St. Vrain Valley to talk with
a peer counselor
• Going over a safety plan with her
• Helping her learn not to deny or minimize the abuse. If she says,
“It's really not that bad,” tell her that it is serious.
• Letting her keep important papers and extra clothes at your house.
• Helping when you can with transportation, child care, groceries,
etc.
• Assuring her that you are concerned about the abuse taking place
in her relationship. There is no excuse for abuse. No one deserves to
be abused. Domestic violence is a crime.
What
you can say to your abused friend:
“I am afraid for your safety and life.”
“I am afraid for your children’s safety and lives.”
“It will only get worse.”
“You deserve better.”
“I will be there for you whenever you need me.”
Domestic
Violence
