The Cycle of Violence is a recurring behavioral pattern where the offender swings between affectionate, remorseful, and calm behavior to periods of tension that grows into physical, sexual or emotional violence.
DENIAL WORKS IN EACH STAGE OF THE CYCLE. THEREFORE THE CYCLE KEEPS GOING. ONLY BY BREAKING THROUGH THIS DENIAL CAN THE CYCLE BE BROKEN.
Denial during tension building stage
Many deny it's happening, excuse it as a result of outside stress (work, etc.), blame themselves for the behavior, or deniy that the abuse will worsen. Abuser denies by blaming the tension on their partner, work, traffic, anything, and by getting drunk or doing drugs, denies their responsibility for their actions.
Denial during explosion stage
Many deny their injuries, “They’re only minor,” “I bruise easily,” or “it didn’t require police or medical help”. Some people blame it on drinking, “they didn’t know what they were doing”; does not label it rape because it was with a partner.
Denial during “honeymoon” or “remorseful” stage
Many people minimize their injuries, “It could have been worse,” believes it will not happen again, and believes their promises to change. The abuser also believes it will not happen again.
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